On endings.

I’m about to write the last few paragraphs of my first draft. It’s got me feeling very emotional, even though I’m turning around and re-tooling the whole first five chapters next week. Despite that work looming ahead of me, I will still have a book that is readable from start to finish, even if it needs a lot of love to get it worthy of shopping to agents.

I’ve talked about the dream of writing a novel on here before, but saying it doesn’t do the feeling I am having justice.

Triumphant!

Yes, that would be the word.

Sure, I could get overwhelmed by the work that needs to be done on it. Especially the bits I have shared. They are rough, but I also know exactly what I need to do to fix them.

I just can’t wait for people to see how the story progressed from chapter-to-chapter. Sure, there are some instances where things need to be made more logical, but the flow of events is down and I think will lead to a good emotional pay-off for the reader.

THAT is the point I am going for. Yes, this is a coming of age story, just like so many stories for young adults out there already. What I think sets mine apart from so many is that it feels very current. This is happening now. It is a very honest look at the world we live in, even if we don’t want to see all of the world’s flaws all of the time.

But, this book isn’t just about flaws. I think this book is very hopeful, even if it asks you to accept the world for what it is, not just what you want it to be when you are a kid.

Sure, we aren’t all safe from the boogey man. Yes, bad things happen. But, more importantly, good things happen to.

If we try to hide under the sheets, all it means is that we won’t know where the boogey man is coming from.

Yes, the book has a lot to do with the economic downturn and the way it affects the lives of so many Americans. But, that is an underlying thing. It is discussed outright for a few pages, but I try not to slap the reader in the face or get too preachy about it.

It just is. Kind of like it is for all of us. We might not be unemployed, but there is a good chance we know someone who is. That is a hard thing for kids to understand. They hear how bad the world is right now, but I think that is the wrong message to send them. It’s not that the world is messed up, it’s that we aren’t doing enough to make things better.

If my readers learn anything from this book, I hope it is that they have to be willing to take risks and fail to improve their lives.

Writing this book is a risk. I am going to be putting myself out there to be judged, maybe even ridiculed by some.

I hate that idea. I was both bullied and a bully as a kid. It made me risk-averse for a long time. I had to fight that compulsion to get myself out there and do things like meet my wonderful wife and join a program to be a teacher. If I let my fear drive me, I wouldn’t be the man I am today.

That is something I will never do again- let my fear prevent me from doing something I want to.

Unless, of course, we are talking about climbing mountains. That stuff is for other people. No thank you!