Tag: communication
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The Volley, Part Two: Contempt, Repair, and the Next Shot
I have been thinking about contempt. That is one of the hazards of therapy school. You learn a name for something, and suddenly you begin seeing it everywhere—not because everyone around you has suddenly changed, but because your eyes have. John and Julie Gottman describe four communication patterns that can become particularly destructive in relationships:…
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The Etiquette of Disagreement (Or: How Not to Lose Everyone)
I have about three conservative friends left on Facebook. That’s not an exaggeration. It’s also not something I ever set out to do. If anything, I’ve resisted it. I don’t like cutting people off. I don’t like curating my life down to only the people who agree with me. That feels brittle. Unreal. Like building…
