I watched a video recently where a guy described himself as a 35-year-old loser. His message was simple: don’t end up like me. Start now. Build skills. Take action. Stop wasting time. And I get it. There’s truth in that. Drifting too long, avoiding responsibility, never committing to anything—that catches up with you. Time does matter. Regret is real.
But I don’t think the whole story is that simple. I don’t think he’s a loser. I think he’s something else. I think he’s part of a generation that was never fully shown what was possible. A generation that was told to go to school, follow the path, and trust that success would come, but wasn’t really shown how many paths actually exist. We weren’t shown what trades and alternative routes could look like, or how to figure ourselves out before committing our lives to something.
So we guessed. And sometimes we guessed wrong.
Drift isn’t always failure. Sometimes it’s confusion. Sometimes it’s lack of exposure. Sometimes it’s someone trying to find something that actually fits in a world that feels more complex than anyone prepared them for. And when I think about that, I think about my dad. I love my dad. He’s worked hard his entire life, and he’s done a lot of good for our family. But when it came to figuring out what I should actually do with my life, he didn’t have many answers. Not because he didn’t care, but because I don’t think his generation was asked those questions in the same way.
If I had gone the lawyer route, I think it would have made more sense. It would have fit into a clearer, more established path. But outside of something like that, he seemed just as unsure as I was. And that says something. His generation has done a lot of good. They built stability. They provided for their families. But a lot of that effort seems to have been centered around accumulation—building a life for themselves and the people closest to them—more than shaping the broader environment around them. That’s not a criticism as much as it is an observation, because now we’re living in the result of that. A world that is more complex, more open, but also less clearly defined, where we’re being asked to figure things out in ways they didn’t have to.
On top of that, we’re entering a moment where the future itself feels uncertain in a new way. With the rise of AI and everything that comes with it, it’s getting harder to even define what “work” will look like in ten or twenty years. The idea of choosing a stable path becomes more difficult when the ground itself feels like it’s shifting. So people drift. Not because they’re lazy, but because they’re navigating a system that doesn’t fully prepare them for reality and a future that isn’t fully visible yet.
I see that tension when I look at my son. He’s starting to develop interests of his own, and right now he’s really into health and eating better. I’ve found myself encouraging that—not just as a habit, but as a possible direction—because that’s where meaning starts to show up. When you follow something you’re naturally drawn to and build skill around it, you have a chance to land somewhere that actually fits. Not just a job, but something that sustains you.
And when I look at my own path, I can see where I’ve struggled with that. In some ways, I’ve fallen into the same trap as the guy in that video. I’ve chosen media creation as something I want to pursue, and while I do think there’s value in what I’m creating—writing, building something that can exist beyond me—I’m also aware that this space is crowded with people chasing the idea of being a “content creator” without a clear understanding of what that actually means. For a lot of people, it becomes another form of drifting, another way to feel productive without necessarily building something sustainable.
Maybe one day that changes. Maybe we move toward a world where creative work like this can be more widely supported, where something like this could actually sustain a life. But we’re not there yet. Right now, it’s closer to a pursuit than a path, and that matters.
If I were adding to that original message, I’d still say this: figure yourself out first. Not perfectly, but enough to know what actually matters to you. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket too early, but also don’t be afraid to dedicate yourself to something once you find it. Don’t become dependent on other people to define your life, but don’t forget that other people matter either. There’s a balance there that no one really teaches you.
I see that gap even now. My son recently had a job shadowing experience, and it was surprising how little the school seemed to care about it. That should be one of the most important moments in a kid’s education—actually seeing what life could look like. Instead, it felt like an afterthought. That says something. It says we’re still not doing a great job of helping people understand what’s out there before asking them to choose a path.
I don’t think we’re a generation of losers. I think we’re a generation that’s a little lost. Not because anyone meant for that to happen, but because the values we were handed didn’t always match the world we were stepping into. And now we’re waking up inside of it, trying to figure things out a little later than we expected.
That doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you’re aware now. And awareness is uncomfortable, because once you see it, you can’t really go back to pretending you don’t. But it’s also where something real can start.
I’m still working on that.
Frank M. Anderson's Writing 
Leave a comment